Hi to
everyone.
“Don’t give
me problems, give me solutions”
In one of my
posts “Shooting blanks in the dark” I pointed out some of the problems we are
facing as a society regarding drug abuse. This is a generalization of the
problem and it goes much deeper than what I pointed out.
The solution
to the problem is much more complicated than to declare war on drugs and drug
dealers or to imprison people. That is not the enemy. The enemy lies in our
society.
The enemy
lies in how adults behave and treat their young. It is a fact of life that we
learn from what we see. We learn more from the actions of our parents than from
their words. Everything we say think or do instructs our children. Do you
really think that they are not listening to what you are saying? Are you that
naive
to think that they do not see what you are doing? Young people are like
sponges; they are eager to learn about life, they observe closely. Young people
don’t miss a thing. Do you really think you are kidding them?
I met with a
young couple that was using Cat. They had a small daughter of 2 years old. They
told me that they are not using in front of their daughter. The daughter was
playing in her bedroom. Halfway through the interview the daughter came out of
her room… holding a straw by her nose. The mother was horrified; the dad
grabbed his head in disbelief. ‘Where did she learn how to do that?” they
shouted, looking with embarrassment at each other. It was very difficult for me
to keep my sarcasm to myself. Where in the hell do you think she learned that,
I wanted to scream at them?
Fathers that
think it is cute when they send their sons to get them their beer and even to
get them to pour for them. “Just get mommies cigarettes in the bedroom.” Not
please. Later the mother wants to
reprimand her child if the child doesn’t say please if they want something. When
the children are teenagers, that same parents reprimand this children not to
drink or to smoke or to use drugs. Do as I say, not as I do. How stupid can you
be?
They see how
you treat other people. They hear and see how you act on the road. They hear
what you are saying about their teachers, and then we want to punish them if
they treat their teachers with disrespect. They are like sponges. They observe
you closely, and that is how they will do when they are adults. You are
teaching them how to behave. Remember you are their hero, what you do must be
how they should behave.
This goes
even further, it also goes to abuse. It is no use spending millions of rand on abuse
campaigns if fathers or mothers still abuse their wives/husbands and
children. Children learn from actions
not words. Children mirror their parents.
They see fear. They see anger. They see hypocrisy and intolerance. They see anxiety. They even know what you are
thinking. They learn this from you, their parents.
Further, if
you can now imagine that when this children become teenagers they start
learning from their friends, which in turn learned different actions from their
parents. They also learn from their teachers, which again were taught by their
parents, and suddenly we are sitting in a situation where we are in now.
This problem
started years ago, we are teaching our children what we were taught twenty and
thirty years ago. I would like to challenge you to think back when we were
young. Can you remember the acid wave in ’65, the duck-tails and the hippies and
skinheads?
Our youth
are mimicking what adults are doing. All people are imitating each other. We
are just doing what we see others are doing.
So in
conclusion I suggest that we start to guide our children through our own
actions and behavior. That will be the only way to change the attitudes and
behavior of our youth.
Thank you
for reading this blog.
Your comments are much appreciated.