Hi to everyone.
“Don’t give me problems, give me solutions”
In one of my posts “Shooting blanks in the dark” I pointed out some of the problems we are facing as a society regarding drug abuse. This is a generalization of the problem and it goes much deeper than what I pointed out.
The solution to the problem is much more complicated than to declare war on drugs and drug dealers or to imprison people. That is not the enemy. The enemy lies in our society.
The enemy lies in how adults behave and treat their young. It is a fact of life that we learn from what we see. We learn more from the actions of our parents than from their words. Everything we say think or do instructs our children. Do you really think that they are not listening to what you are saying? Are you that naive
I met with a young couple that was using Cat. They had a small daughter of 2 years old. They told me that they are not using in front of their daughter. The daughter was playing in her bedroom. Halfway through the interview the daughter came out of her room… holding a straw by her nose. The mother was horrified; the dad grabbed his head in disbelief. ‘Where did she learn how to do that?” they shouted, looking with embarrassment at each other. It was very difficult for me to keep my sarcasm to myself. Where in the hell do you think she learned that, I wanted to scream at them?
Fathers that think it is cute when they send their sons to get them their beer and even to get them to pour for them. “Just get mommies cigarettes in the bedroom.” Not please. Later the mother wants to reprimand her child if the child doesn’t say please if they want something. When the children are teenagers, that same parents reprimand this children not to drink or to smoke or to use drugs. Do as I say, not as I do. How stupid can you be?
They see how you treat other people. They hear and see how you act on the road. They hear what you are saying about their teachers, and then we want to punish them if they treat their teachers with disrespect. They are like sponges. They observe you closely, and that is how they will do when they are adults. You are teaching them how to behave. Remember you are their hero, what you do must be how they should behave.
This goes even further, it also goes to abuse. It is no use spending millions of rand on abuse campaigns if fathers or mothers still abuse their wives/husbands and children. Children learn from actions not words. Children mirror their parents. They see fear. They see anger. They see hypocrisy and intolerance. They see anxiety. They even know what you are thinking. They learn this from you, their parents.
Further, if you can now imagine that when this children become teenagers they start learning from their friends, which in turn learned different actions from their parents. They also learn from their teachers, which again were taught by their parents, and suddenly we are sitting in a situation where we are in now.
This problem started years ago, we are teaching our children what we were taught twenty and thirty years ago. I would like to challenge you to think back when we were young. Can you remember the acid wave in ’65, the duck-tails and the hippies and skinheads?
Our youth are mimicking what adults are doing. All people are imitating each other. We are just doing what we see others are doing.
So in conclusion I suggest that we start to guide our children through our own actions and behavior. That will be the only way to change the attitudes and behavior of our youth.
Thank you for reading this blog.
Your comments are much appreciated.